An Email to My Bishop
Hi Bishop:
I was concerned when I saw plural marriage addressed in the Scripture Stories for Children on the Church’s website. It’s titled Plural Marriage, Faith to obey a law from the Lord, even when it’s hard.
This plural marriage story is part of the supplemental material. It will likely be used in primary, along with whatever video eventually goes with it. From my point of view,
1. It’s not appropriate to introduce this topic to children
2. Newly available research is causing many to question whether Joseph endorsed or was involved in this anyway
3. Polygamy was never commanded of God and is clearly condemned in the Book of Mormon.
For Kids, Really?
First, fortunately, this scripture story does not mention Joseph marrying 14-year-old girls or married women. It also does not mention that most of these marriages happened behind Emma’s back. These concepts are part of the polygamy essays on the Church’s website but were omitted from the children’s version.
On the other hand, this children’s story does teach that God occasionally commands multiple wives. Living in Southern Utah, we have plenty of examples of people who believe God commands multiple wives. Samuel Bateman of Colorado City was just sentenced to 50 years in prison for his underage multiple wives.
Church members would never see it this way, but is this children’s story grooming our young girls to submit to this marriage arrangement like so many of our FLDS neighbors?
Does it seem wise to present boys, living in our sexually charged society, with the idea of God commanding multiple sexual partners? Or for a man to feel justified in callously hurting his wife by taking additional wives?
What If Joseph Didn’t Do This?
Second, since the release of the Joseph Smith Papers and other original documents, we have newly available material which raises questions about the origin of this doctrine One example is this Oct 5, 1843 journal entry.
The original document clearly showed Joseph opposed plurality of wives. Then years after Joseph’s death, edits were made in a different handwriting. The edits flipped the meaning to support plural wives.
During their lifetimes, there is not one statement from Joseph, Hyrum, or Emma supporting anything other than monogamous marriage. They consistently spoke against plural marriage. It was long after their deaths that secondhand stories were established to support Joseph’s polygamy.
It’s also curious that Joseph had no children or descendants from any wife other than Emma. I don’t know of that happening with any other polygamist church leader. Why are we teaching a questionable conclusion to children?
Where’s the Scriptures?
Third, from my study of the scriptures, it’s apparent to me that there is nothing scriptural in claiming God occasionally commands multiple wives. Flawed humans may have chosen polygamy in the Old Testament, but the outcome was never positive. These stories were given so we would learn from, not repeat their mistakes.
Six times in scripture man is told to cleave to his wife. The Book of Mormon doesn’t use that exact wording, but repeatedly decries the abomination of polygamy. Jacob 2:30 is the only verse that has been used to justify polygamy. However, when I read verse 30 in context, I only see it condemning plural wives.
Section 132 alone commands what it calls the “Law of Many Wives and Concubines”. From the newly available documents, many believe Section 132 has very questionable beginnings. Just because it was in church history, should we teach a principle that is not supported by scripture? After all, we don’t do that with Adam-God, blood atonement, or blacks and the priesthood.
My Conclusion
My conclusion is that this new church material is not only inappropriate for children, but is evil being portrayed as good (Isaiah 5:20). By justifying Joseph's polygamy (without documentation), I think we are subtly teaching boys that cheating on your wife is occasionally okay. We're grooming girls to consider accepting a future proposal to be plural wives.
Even if there were clear scriptures to support plural wives, which I don’t think there are, it’s not an appropriate topic for primary. If parents want to teach their young children about alternative forms of marriage—to embrace a polygamous, gay, or transgender lifestyle—they are free to do so. But no one should be allowed to teach these concepts to the children of others, especially without parental consent.
I’ve worried about the things my grandchildren might learn in public schools. Now I find myself worrying about what they might learn in primary.
Addendum
My stake president, who also received this email and who I don’t know personally, responded to me. It was a kind, thoughtful email. I won’t share it because it was written to me. However, I will share that he said he would pass my email up to his leaders as I requested, although he thought it would come back to him and he would be told to counsel with me. I told him my hope is they will hear the complaints from me and many others and take this story down.
He explained that monogamy is the rule and this story makes that clear. He also explained why he believes they included this story. He said many are upset or even leaving the church because they didn’t know about this part of our history. Well, I certainly have experience with that! I responded:
“Of all people, I understand why the church would want to prepare adults to learn of this. I was a convert at age 17 and never heard of our early polygamy history, our eternal plural marriage doctrine, and D&C 132 until I was married with children. I was devastated for 30 years. Fortunately, I've done quite a bit of research and seen the scriptures with new eyes so I no longer worry about being a multiple wife or concubine in the eternities. While I was raising my children, I didn't know how to address this topic I hated so much. This backfired horribly with one of my daughters. So I know the church wants to inoculate children to this disturbing teaching.
However, this is a complex topic that many adults have difficulty understanding. I don't see how primary age children would be able to sort this out. Are they going to worry that daddy might get another wife someday? I would think it could add to their fears. Not to mention my concerns for later in their adolescent lives that I've already expressed.
We moved from So California where, without my consent, my children were taught about alternative sexual lifestyles. I fought this in the schools. Polygamy is an alternative lifestyle, it involves sexual relations, and some of us don't want this option presented to our young children.
Yes, the story tried to emphasize that monogamy is the Lord's command today. However, D&C 132:3 clearly states "...for all those who have this law revealed unto them must obey the same." We've never been given clear direction on this law of having Many Wives and Concubines, but the understanding is that it will be reintroduced at some point. (Of course, I won't be participating if it does because I don't believe it's from our loving Heavenly Father).
When it was first officially announced over the pulpit in 1856, many weren't expecting it then so we have a precedent for surprises. Also, it is still part of our doctrine for the eternities.”